• February 2011 Archive •

Dear Friend

We sat across the table as adult versions of the people we were when we last saw each other. We had grown up sharing everything from middle school giggles to beginning college fears. We now shared a basket of chips and salsa. It had been seven years since I had seen her in person. She was still as pretty as I had remembered.

We spent hours sitting and talking in a tiny booth at a local Mexican restaurant. I listened attentively to every story she told. With each word, it was an invitation for me to step inside her world. A world I knew nothing about since we were eighteen.
A lot had changed since we had hugged goodbye that August before college. I was moving near the ocean and she was headed to the Hill. She had been such an intricate part of my life through some of our most influential years. I had entrusted secrets with her that she had kept locked. She was a close companion and a genuine friend. I was certain that college meant we would grow up but not apart. I never imagined our relationship would completely dissolve. When our communication ceased, I was heartbroken.

Even though we might as well have been strangers for the first half of our twenties, it didn’t mean that I hadn’t thought about her or wished I could just catch up with her. I had googled her name and searched Facebook for her more times than I’d like to admit. I frequently asked mutual friends about her. The truth was, even though she wasn’t present in my life, she was still a part of it. As I stared at my computer screen seven years later, I had no hesitation about opening an email titled “Blast from the Past.”
As we sipped on our margaritas and reminisced on the past, there was no reason for us to waste our time together sifting through the hows or whys. It was more important to re-learn each other and establish a new and different friendship. A lot had changed and even though we weren’t those same little girls, being together was a lot like being home.

I’m challenging myself to be the type of friend that I would want to befriend. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how to maintain a friendship. A text here and there, a scheduled phone call to catch up or nowadays a wall post can keep a friendship alive and can sometimes even resuscitate a dying one. I’ve struggled recently with realizing that a one-sided and selfish friendship will never last. If the effort exerted isn’t reciprocated, the connection quickly fizzles. There are some friendships that last a lifetime. No length of time or distance between can weaken the bond. There are others that end abruptly once the trust has been broken. Sometimes a friendship emerges out of the blue or even from an unlikely source. To me, out of all the different types, the best friendship is an old one made new.

xoxo, Priscilla