Valentine’s Day. Some people love it while others loathe it. We can all agree there are silly components enveloped in the day. And even though Hallmark and florists did a remarkable job in convincing us to frequent their stores on February 14th and pay triple the price for a bouquet of roses, the heart of the holiday is good.
I always struggled with Valentine’s Day. It was such a formal declaration of being a couple and I was never comfortable with claiming I was in an exclusive relationship. Perhaps that explains why I would ditch my so-called boyfriends to spend the day with my girls or even schedule two dates back to back on the same night. I was the last person you wanted to be your Valentine because it was pretty much a guarantee you either wouldn’t see me on the holiday or I would be seeing someone else. Don’t worry, my cold-hearted behavior finally caught up to me when Cupid and karma met up to teach me a lesson.
I’m married now. I can breathe a sigh of relief in knowing that as long as we keep working at this thing called marriage, I’ll always have a funny little Valentine. Chase and I have never gone out of our way to commemorate the holiday. We keep it low key, reflective and simply simple.
The holiday encourages us to express what our hearts are wanting to say. Whether you’re celebrating being single or celebrating the one you’re with, we can all use a lesson in crafting the perfect Valentine. Sometimes the best teacher can be our past. I decided to scrounge up my favorite Valentines and love letters from my life to show you what you should or shouldn’t do this Valentine’s Day.
1. A Secret Admirer Should Remain a Secret
Poor Matthew didn’t get the memo. If you’re wanting to send someone a secret love-o-gram, you shouldn’t sign your name. Even though he made a crucial error in revealing his identity, I do give him props for declaring his love to an upperclassman seeing as how I was in 8th grade and he was in the 6th. I sure hope he now knows the difference between admire and admirer.
2. Be Aggressive
Sure, the premise of the letter is short and sweet. You want to express your love and ask a girl to a dance. Don’t be afraid to command when she should read your offer.
3. Keep It Appropriate
My mom found this card to be hilarious when I recently told her about it. She probably wouldn’t have if I would have shown it to her when I was in 7th grade. Imagine my surprise in opening this Valentine when I hadn’t even yet french kissed a guy. Strangely enough, I never ended up redeeming my coupon.
4. Ask For Feedback
Communication is key for any relationship. Even pre-teen relationships. Follow Josh’s lead and ask your Valentine for feedback. Even if you’re afraid of what the answer might be, such as picking Kevin or Kane over you, take a risk and let the check marks lead the way. P.S. – Don’t forget to tell your Valentine where and when to return their questionnaire.
5. Give a Girl Options
Josh did a great job above of asking for feedback but sometimes a girl needs more options than just a yes or no. Brock gives us a great example of how you should present your wanna be girlfriend with a range of responses. Unfortunately he didn’t instruct me on how or where to return the survey so it remained blank.
6. Define Love
Valentine’s Day isn’t just about couples. Sometimes we celebrate friends or family or anyone special in our lives. If you’re sending someone a Valentine, be sure to explain what you mean when you write the word “love” so there isn’t any confusion. You don’t want anyone to think you love them when really you just like to write the word and you certainly don’t want someone thinking you love them in a sick way.
7. Spelling Is Crucial
If you’re sending someone a Valentine, love letter, apology or break up letter, it’s important to spell their name correctly. Especially if you were in a relationship with them and if they are “someone very special to you.” Daniel clearly proves this point. He starts off on the right track with the “Pr” but quickly crashes and burns with the “e” in place of the “is.” For the grand finale, he chicken scratches an “a” over top an “ia.” According to Daniel, he was dating and desperately seeking forgiveness from Precillia. Not even hearts instead of Os can make up for spelling your Valentine’s name incorrectly.
8. Be Forgiving
What better lesson to learn on Valentine’s Day than forgive and forget? Use the holiday as an opportunity to tell someone you forgive them for doing you wrong.
There you have it. My rules for sending Valentines accroding to my past experiences. Disclaimer: If you are one of the mentioned boys above, please forgive me for exploiting you. I knew there was a reason I kept that box full of letters. I am also completely aware that I have sent each of you an equally embarrassing love note. We can be cheeseballs together.