As much as you can try to avoid and prevent it, life is always full of conflict. We’re imperfect beings who have different ideas, tolerances, beliefs and expectations. We see it on the news every day. This person fighting with this person. This country hates this country. Voices escalate. Tempers flare. Bombs explode.
I hate conflict. I loathe disagreements. I despise sticky situations that make me uncomfortable. When something with someone goes array and I know a confrontation is imminent, my brain goes haywire. There’s a constant flood of lyrics streaming as to what I’m going to say. The points I’m going to make are bulleted, clear and concise. A few are bleeped out. My confidence is through the roof and I have no doubt that after the altercation, the other person will be wishing they never messed with all 5’2” of me. Okay, 5’1”.
But that’s in my head. Reality is that I’m a pull-the-covers-over-your-head and brush-it-under-the-rug kind of person. My palms become sweaty. My voice shakes. I become totally exposed and vulnerable. The narrative I’ve mentally rehearsed comes out in the form of tears streaming down my face. For the longest time I’ve viewed it as a weakness. A flaw in my character that I can so easily become the punching bag and not the one handing out blows.
But the truth is, I think my inability to verbalize spiteful or harmful words isn’t a weakness at all. Words are powerful. They don’t bounce – they stick. They can’t be retracted or taken back. Once gossip or something negative leaves your mouth and lands on the ears of the recipient, you’ve risked them being twisted, repeated, or worse, remembered.
My honest prayer is that I use my words wisely. To think before speaking. To not judge someone because they sin differently than I do. To let them marinate before I just spit them out. To remember that if they are going to stick to someone, let them be words of encouragement, positivity and empowerment. Let my words do good and not damage. If what I have to say isn’t kind or delivered in a gentle manner, then let me be quiet.
Someone who has filled my life with the most inspiring words is Dorothy. If ever I doubt myself as a wedding planner, doubt my ability to make another person happy or doubt what I’m doing with my life, I can count on Dorothy to remind me that I’ve done something right. Her wedding was incredible. Full of rustic details. Full of personalization. Full of romance. Full of gratitude.
Dorothy did the work. She hired her vendors. She collected her decor. She came to me for advice and guidance and on the wedding day, she trusted my team and me to bring it to life. If you like a horse-drawn-carriage, dogs that serve as ring bearers, a wisteria Twilight-inspired draped pergola, wooden benches, hand painted programs, a vintage Volkswagen Beetle, mix-matched china and cotton napkins, carmel apple wedding favors or a reception set in the most elegant barn imaginable, this is the wedding for you.
I had the most enlightening experience getting to know Dorothy. She has the most giving heart. Evident by the souvenirs she sent to me from her trip to Dallas because she knew Chase was a Cowboys fan. Her thoughtfulness is inspiring. In addition to loving every minute of working with Dorothy, I can’t thank Brian Mullins Photography enough for the stunning pictures. It was a pure delight to work with Brian and Jenn on the wedding day.
In a conflicted world, one positive word can outweigh a mountain of negativity. I’ve had so many incredible clients, friends and family fill my inbox and phone with the sweetest sentiments recently. This is my public declaration of thanks. They have been impactful. They have motivated me. Your simple words have saved me.
P.S. – Be sure to check out Dorothy and David’s wedding featured on Southern Bride & Groom!
Ceremony Location: Village Arboretum
Reception Location: The Fair Barn
Photographer: Brian Mullins Photography
Coordinator: Orangerie Events
Carriage: Carriage Tours of Pinehurst
DJ: A+ DJ Service
Caterer: Southern Harvest Catering Company
Cake: The Bakehouse
Cupcakes: BlueBird Cupcakes