When you are getting married you quickly find out that there are a bunch of traditions involved in many weddings. As the bride or groom, it is totally your choice whether you wish to follow these traditions or make traditions of your own.
One of the many traditions that confuse many engaged couples is the appropriate ages for members of the bridal party and grooms people.
In this article, we will be focussing on the flower girl and ring bearer in particular and will be analyzing their suitability to the role based on their age.
So, if you are wondering whether your cute family member or bestie’s child is too old (or too young) to be a part of your big day, this might just be the perfect article for you.
How old are flower girls?
The age of a flower girl will depend on who you want to ask, as well as your personal preferences. Sure, there are general ages and average ages of flower girls, but this does not mean that you have to follow suit and abide by these general rules.
That being said, it is still helpful to have a rough estimate in terms of ages, as this can help you plan better, especially if you have lots of potential candidates for a flower girl. Generally, flower girls are under the age of 9. Sometimes they can be as old as 12.
This means that there are many instances where a flower girl has been barely able to walk or even had to be carried down the aisle by a family member.
Of course, this does not mean that your flower girl needs to be aged 9 or under. Indeed, it is your personal decision and if you want an older flower girl then you can go ahead.
However, it is worth bearing in mind that flower girls aren’t just the only available role for a young girl. Keep on reading to find out more.
What is the appropriate age for a flower girl?
The appropriate age for a flower girl is thought by many people to be between the ages of 3 and 12. 12 is generally thought to be the oldest a flower girl should be, and any younger than 3 and they may have trouble walking down the aisle and may get fidgety.
That being said, as we mentioned in the previous section, it doesn’t really matter what the general consensus on this is. If you want a flower girl that is younger or even 10 years older you can! It is your wedding and you can do whatever you want.
It is worth bearing in mind, however, that there are some other roles that may be suited to the special girls in your life if they are generally thought to be past the appropriate age for being a flower girl.
For example, if you have a 12-year-old who just feels that they are a little bit too grown up to be a flower girl, you can ask them to be a junior bridesmaid instead.
As well as this, if you have a loved one who is younger than 3 years old and will need to be held through the wedding, you could ask one of your older bridesmaids to hold her for the duration so she can still be a flower girl.
What is the appropriate age for a ring bearer?
Generally, the appropriate age for a ring bearer is very similar to the appropriate age for a flower girl. This is thought to be anything from 3 years old to 11 years old.
However, as we mentioned before, this is totally not a hard and fast rule, and if you have a person in mind that is older or younger than this, there is no reason why they can’t still be a ring bearer.
You should, however, keep in mind that the job of a ring bearer is to carry your wedding rings. This is often on top of a cushion or pillow.
Of course, this is a pretty serious task, and the younger or more fidgety the ring bearer is, the higher your chances of having a ring-related accident (no one wants to be crawling on their hands and knees during the I-Dos)
For this reason, many couples decide to use fake rings for this part of the ceremony and entrust a member of the groomsmen to hold onto the real rings.
Is 12 too old to be a flower girl?
This is up for debate since this is a very personal preference. For some people, 12 years old may feel a little bit too old to be a flower girl. Certainly, the 12-year-old may not want to be given such a role if they associate it with younger children.
As such, it is not uncommon to see children aged 12 or above being asked or given the role of a junior bridesmaid instead. They will feel more grown-up and feel as though they have a little more responsibility.
Again, to clarify, this is personal preference and some 12-year-olds (especially those that look younger) may be absolutely fine with it.
Who should be your ring bearer?
Generally, a ring bearer is a male member of the family of either the bride or grooms such as a nephew or even a son.
They may also be the son of a close friend who is a member of the bridal party or groomsmen. They are generally aged 3 years old or above, right up to the age of 10 or 11.
That being said, there is no reason why your ring bearer cannot be someone else of your choosing. In fact, you may not even want to choose a boy for this role.
If you have no nephews but a lot of nieces, for example, it is possible that you will want one of them to be your ring bearer. This is totally fine!